An Artist’s Journey

From a very young age, I was interested in art. I bought art materials as birthday gifts for my friends, and I drew and painted whenever I could. My sisters and mother were very capable singers and musicians. I on the other hand, was as my father pointed out, unable to carry a tune in a bucket. When I tried to fit in, my father would say, “You are an artist, dear,“ and so I was.

As I grew into my teens, I recognized that there was something different about me. I had euphoric, productive periods of time, where I painted with fervor, and times where I could not lift a brush or garner a single creative thought. One day, feeling melancholic, I was looking for something in the art section to inspire me to paint. At the bookstore, I encountered a book that intrigued me. Touched With Fire, Manic Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament, by Kay Redfield Jamison. It was as if the book spoke to me, and I could not put it down. I saw parallels between my life and those of other artists experiencing similar feelings. Inside the cover I annotated the book with “perhaps touched by fire?” in hopes of finding some answers. I felt that I was not alone and there were others in the Arts with whom I could identify.

My art became my passion. I return to it throughout my life as one of the things I can depend upon to experience the joy and stability I need.

There are more answers now than there were then. I still struggle, but the one steadfast partner and passion has been my art. My paintings reflect my interpretation of life. I paint because that is how I choose to define myself. Art is at my core and has held me up through a tumultuous life. I will always go back to it, to find “the answers.”